Signs That You Need Boundaries

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown

Boundaries is a term that we are all typically familiar with; however, many of us still struggle to realize when we lack boundaries in our lives.

Simply put, boundaries are meant to protect us. When we lack boundaries in our lives, we are vulnerable to threats that can deteriorate our wellness and our relationships. We often do not realize we lack boundaries until we reach a breaking point of wellness deterioration or burnout.

Here are some signs that you may benefit from some work with boundaries:

You have difficulty saying "no."

Obvious right? Not for most of us. Believe it or not, many of us do not realize when we struggle with saying no. It becomes such an automatic pattern for us that it just feels natural, familiar, and, well, good to always say yes. The issue is that always saying yes to others is likely jeopardizing your wellness needs and creating imbalance in your wellness.

Try to pay more attention to what happens when someone asks something of you. Notice if you ever do say "no." If you do, notice what happens. Are you riddled with guilt? Do you change your mind? Or can you stay balanced in recognizing that you cannot ALWAYS say yes, which is okay.

You are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or emotionally depleted.

You guessed it, all that never saying no eventually leads to these three symptoms: overwhelm, burnout, and emotional depletion. If you are struggling with these things, then it may be time to re-evaluate your boundary setting. Boundaries are not always the cause of these symptoms, but they often are a contributing factor.

Not having enough time for self-care or just yourself in general.

This is something that many of us struggle with. One main issue in this struggle is that we are not prioritizing time for ourselves. If we often have difficulty saying "no," then it is likely that we will be left with little time and energy for ourselves. If you are one of those people who says, "I do not have time for myself," then it may be a good time to reflect on boundary setting.

Doing everything yourself.

Struggling to ask for help is a common issue that prevents effective boundary setting. If you have difficulty asking for help or are often doing everything on your own, it may be a good time to consider setting boundaries with yourself. Boundaries with yourself may mean limiting the amount of things you take on in a given moment, day, week, or month. This may also mean you build up the courage to ask others for support.

Avoidance.

This one might be confusing to some, but sometimes when we notice an increase in avoidance, it is because we use avoidance as a passive boundary to protect ourselves. Though avoidance is a type of boundary, it is often not a very clear one and does not produce long-term changes. If you notice that you are avoiding contact with friends or family, it may be time to assertively work on setting boundaries so that you can maintain strong, healthy connections while letting others know your limits.

If you need boundaries guidance, I would love to help!

Disclaimer:

Please note the content included in all blog posts are for educational/informational purposes only. They are not meant to replace mental health support or treatment. They are not meant as psychological advice.